Blind Pilots Joke

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around; searching for some kind of a sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport property.

Just as it begins to look as though the plane will plow straight into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines and books, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
Meanwhile, in the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other andsays, 
'You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die’!

Bringing back one of the oldies

Here's one of the jokes that we posted at the very beginning of this blog - here it is again.

"Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around; searching for some kind of a sign that this is just a little practical joke.

None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport property.
Just as it begins to look as though the plane will plow straight into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines and books, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, 'You know Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!' "

Arg! Grrrrrr.....

Oh bother!


My brain is rotting and my eyes are bugging out...

Unfarwell!

Hiya! I'm back(but you didn't even know I was gone did you?)!

I was thinking about how I would say..."I'm back".

1) "I'm Back!"
2) "My Travels have cease!"
3) "I have returned!"
4) "My Journey has ended!"

But done of those really flowed for me. So I decided to go with Charlotte Brontë's way that she put so in her book, Jane Eyre.

"I amUnfarwell!"
(Yes I know ^this makes no sense)
Okay, she didn't say that. But she did have her characters "unopen" the door...

Strangely...I like it. =)

-Lib and Jare

Bring them Back!

So I'm going to bring back some old jokes that we did when we first started blogging.
But we would also like to know which is your favorite. So there is a poll on your right just for that.


So first is the Blonde and the Lawyer one.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from L.A. to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays,
agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.“Okay," says the lawyer," your turn."She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Now the Firetruck one,
A fire started on some grassland near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire.The fire was more than the county fire department could handle.Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck.They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped!The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions.Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controlled parts.Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000.A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.'That ought to be obvious,' he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. 'The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!'

Blessings and go vote!
-Jare and Lib

Bring on the funnys!

So here are some captions that Jare and I made up.



This is one I made...
And here is the one that Jare thought up.

We have more...but we want to save them for slow times=)

Tell us what you think. Are they funny? Or just kinda stupid(I think the Indy one is personally=)?

We would like to know =)

-Jare and Lib

Joke of the Day

Thanks to Tristyn for telling me this Joke. =)

One day a blonde walks into an electricians store and asked the salesman, “ I would like to buy that TV.”
The salesman looks at here and says, “We don’t sell to blondes.”
The irritated blonde leaves the store and dyes her hair Brown.
So the next day she goes to the same store and asks, “ I liked to buy that TV please.”
The salesman says, “I’m sorry lady, but we don’t sell to blondes.”
The blonde was fuming as she then goes and dyes her hair Raven black.
So then the next day she goes back to the store and asks, “Sir, I would REALLY like to buy that TV!”
The salesman looks at her again and says, “ I’m sorry madam but we do NOT sell to blondes, that is a Microwave!”

-Lib

Joke of the Day

A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe.

Nothing happened.

She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the
windows first!

-Lib

Joke for the Day

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow… and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

-Lib

Copy Machine Prank

This is too funny=)

-Lib

Prank of the Week #1

Next time that you go to a drive through, specify that its "to go."


-Lib